When I got pregnant with Asher I really did hope we were finally getting a girl because I knew it might be my last pregnancy. I was on my fifth pregnancy and it was going to be my fourth c-section. I also knew that I'm not a very good pregnant mom - the whole family goes on hold for like a year or more when I have a baby. So, with all that in mind, I knew this was probably it. And then when we went in for the ultrasound and saw our little Asher rolling around in my belly I was overjoyed to be having another son.
And then we made the decision to be done. And it's a good thing because a few months ago I had an ultrasound and the wall of my uterus is only 2 mm thick! Insane - there is no way my body could stretch that much again! But even though we knew I was done I have honestly mourned over my ability to have more children. I know I could love more, handle more, raise more.
|Andrew being the wonderfully quirky, sensitive, funny, sweet Andrew.|
Hmm, I had to think that one over. But now that I asked the question and he had spoken that statement out loud it entered his consciousness even more and so it became part of his little talk about sisters. Now it was a sister around his age. So, I pondered it and wondered if maybe he knew something I didn't know. If perhaps his little sensitive soul knew that he had a sister who was missing. Someone he loved and knew before this life who somehow hadn't shown up when she was supposed to in the family line-up. Just typing that makes me tear up.
And so as you know we were told that it was finally time to adopt - we felt led to China and when deciding how to narrow done the field I said to my friend Jessica, "I'm looking for a little girl about 5 or 6." following Andrew's lead. I thought it would be a good place to start and see where it would take us. And then she emailed me back this image:
|The first image we ever saw of Pearl.|
Mike and I were on a trip in Utah when she emailed it to us and when both Mike and I saw it, we knew. She just looked familiar - she fit. She was right. She was that little sister Andrew had been mentioning and not letting his parents forget about. She was ours.
I don't know if Andrew and Pearl made a deal in heaven where Andrew promised that he wouldn't let us forget about her, but I kind of think they did. I am so grateful for my sweet little boy who made sure that my sweet little girl came home to us.