About six months ago we moved across the country from Washington state to North Carolina. With that move we had the ability to leave behind parts of us that we didn't need or like anymore. We had the chance to change and grow. And Esther in particular really blossomed.
Watching that process and the healing that she underwent was incredible. It filled me with joy, and gratitude, relief, and hope. And it opened my heart to adopting again. While we were in the trenches with the girls adopting again was not something we wanted to consider. Our lives with filled with so many painful unknowns and it made us feel sick to our stomach to start that process again. But as the girls healed and our attachment strengthened we could feel that we had more children in our family out there. It was terrifying but also totally exciting.
So, as you may already know, we are adding two boys to the Knorpp family this fall.
The first is this cute little guy. He turned 2 in January and we are so excited to have him in our life even if we are a little scared to go back to the toddler phase. :)
|Jude Yu Hui Knorpp|
A few weeks after we accepted Jude's file and started the process we could feel that there were others and that maybe we should bring another child home at the same time as Jude. Confirming that Mike felt that way too, I went to our agency's site and looked at the list of waiting children. I was looking for a 4-5 year old girl but as I scrolled down I saw this face:
|Daniel Di Hui Knorpp|
And now here we are. And we know that they aren't the only ones left. In two weeks were are hosting a little girl named Xin from China for a month. She is five - just the age that we felt we were missing. And she has down syndrome. I always felt I would have a child with down syndrome. I can't say with certainty that she will be ours - but I know my heart seems to swell whenever I think about her or tell someone about her.
How do I feel? Amazing. I feel so truly blessed. I never knew that children could bring so much joy - that watching them grow and learn and love could fill me up so completely. I also wondered how I could love so many children! I was afraid that my heart had a finite amount of love in it that must be split up between each child - their slices getting smaller the more we had. I have instead found that as we add more children my heart grows exponentially larger and larger - so that each of my children gets more love from me than ever before. I didn't expect to be so into this whole big family thing - but its become the most fulfilling blessing of my life. GOD IS GOOD!
Until next time...