Azure has a family!

In January my agency sent out an email listing 5 or 6 children that had just made available for adoption.  One of those children was an 8 year old girl with the alias name of Azure.  For what ever reason I just couldn't stop looking at her and requested her file that afternoon.  A file contains more information about the child including their real name, a BRIEF history, their medical records and often more photos.  I really liked her and felt something was special about her so I printed out several photos and put them on the fridge next to Pearl's.  But by that afternoon the idea of not only coming up with the money for one but TWO children was so stressful that I abandoned that idea and threw the printout away.  But she just kept popping up.

Because my agency has a yahoo page with her info on it I would get email any time someone commented on her photo or anything else and every time it happened there was a tug.  Over and over again.  Which meant that every once in a while Mike and I would talk about her.  Sometimes in passing  - sometimes late into the night.

And once again a couple weeks ago I started thinking about her and brought the topic up with Mike.  We talked about it again, more seriously then ever, and got SO stressed out and agreed that adopting another was just too much to handle and that we were only going to bring Pearl home this time.  And it was such a relief.  It felt so easy and good.  I was excited to put everything into one child.  And I moved on.  I even posted about her one here because I thought maybe the reason I couldn't stop thinking about her was because I was supposed to help her get a family!

And then, everything changed.

The Lord stepped it up a notch at a church meeting.  Seemingly out of nowhere He revealed to me a glimpse into who she IS, not just who I saw in the photos.  It was a powerful moment and kind of hard to describe.  Of course it's such a personal thing but the point of this blog is to open up about the process of adopting.  It wasn't a stream of words or ideas - it was instantaneous.  I suddenly knew her - or remembered her.  It was overwhelming and wonderful and terrifying.  I knew what it meant.  I knew that Mike and I needed to talk again.  And I knew her name.  Her name was Esther.  So I drove home and we talked - through tears, fasted the next day, and felt full of joy about finally realizing she was ours.

And then there were two.  And how sweet is our joy.

You can read my post about her here.