Connections

Every few days I find myself overwhelmed by emotion and I stop and cry a little.  Sometimes I'm crying because the road we must travel to get Pearl is a long and untraveled one.  Sometimes I cry because of the pain of her abandonment - knowing that someday she will have to deal with the anger and hurt of that.  Sometimes I cry because I cannot be there to hold her when she's sad or hurt or sick.  And I must hope that someone there is kissing her tears and sharing in her joys.  It's strange how when you open your heart to a child on literally the other side of the world, you feel immediately connected.  She is now our daughter as much as our other children are ours.  We speak about her, pray for her, worry over her, and get excited for the time we will get with her.

This past weekend Mike and I walked through the girl's clothing section in Target and looked at things she might wear.  Our hearts were full as we walked and talked about picking her up from the orphanage and spending two weeks in China with her.  We feel so much joy at having found her but it is coupled with fear - I often feel like I am standing on the shore of the Red Sea waiting for Moses to raise his hand and part it.   Sometimes we feel just as desperate as one of those escaping Israelites must have felt.  And we too feel we need a miracle just as assuredly.  And at those moments I fall to my knees - both literally and emotionally and plead for the Lord to multiply our efforts so that we can bring our precious Pearl home.