One Month Home.

Just a few days ago we hit our one month home mark.  I know I haven't been blogging much and it's not because things are hard or bad - it's because I have such a small amount of down time.  Our business is going really well and so both Mike and I are spending a lot of time on that.  And I am so grateful that it is.    Having the ability for both of us to work from home affords us the blessing of being with the kids all day and being able to tag team our duties.

So how are things going?  Really, really well.  Both girls are getting so comfortable here.  Honestly, their transition has been so easy.  They are truly attaching with us all - our love is growing, our understanding is growing, our communication is improving.  I couldn't have asked for an easier transition.  That being said, I'm emotionally exhausted.  I have been way out of my comfort zone for something like 7 weeks now(or 18 months!) and it takes a lot out of you.  I get tears in my eyes easily, I have to be more intentional with my stress management, and Mike and I have had such little emotional space for each other.    But it is getting better.  Just being aware of what is going on helps a lot.  As do good friends and other adoptive parents who can assure us that we are normal.

Esther's English is improving so much and it is amazing to watch.  She is decoding things and piecing things together into sentences.  Pearl is relying a lot on her big sister so she isn't trying as hard.  They both start school next week - Esther in 4th grade and Pearl in kindergarten- and that should help them both.  They love to get out and play with other kids.  They love church.  We're all excited because they are getting pretty bored around here but it has been a good time for us to get to know one another better.

I wish that my writing abilities were better so that I could describe this process in greater detail but I'm not even sure if I have words for it yet.  I wonder if in a couple months I will be able to do that.  Right now living it is about all that I can do.   It is slightly familiar territory though.  We feel a lot like we do when we have a brand new baby.  Exhausted, overwhelmed, emotional, happy, delirious, grateful.

One of the most enjoyable parts is introducing the girls to so many new things.  Their first campfire, their first smores, Pearl's first lost tooth, treats, roller-skating, easter egg hunting, spring.  Both girls are from big(polluted) cities so just getting to experience the seasons is new and wonderful to them.  Swinging on a rope swing hanging from a tree branch, family dance contests, Michael Jackson youtube videos, mud puddles, American schools, church, blue skies, all of it brings such joy - for them as well as us as we experience it all over again through new eyes.    Yesterday Esther asked me through google translate if I had happy birthdays in my childhood.  I told her I did and she replied in broken English, "Esther no happy birthdays."  I told her that next month on her birthday we will have cake and friends and a party with gifts.  She was so excited.

I have found that as I take care of myself spiritually I have greater love for the girls.  If I am spending time with my scriptures or in prayer - my attachment with the girls grows.  I am grateful that the Lord magnifies my abilities and adds to me - I can feel it.  I am also grateful for friends who have talents and skills in other healing modalities that have truly blessed us so much.

Nearly two years ago when Mike and I sat down and opened our hearts to hear what the Lord wanted us to do with our lives we felt impressed that someday we would adopt, among other things.  We felt that there were two girls and a boy out there.  We didn't know how soon we would find those two girls!  But what about that boy?  We don't know yet.  When we came home we were so spent we couldn't even think about adopting again - we didn't want to even open our minds to the possibility.  Slowly, ever so slowly, our hearts are mending and we are beginning to feel safe enough to say that yes, we will return to adoption again.  It becomes easier as our love and gratitude for our sweet daughters grows.  Already I wonder what we would have done without them.   This past weekend while watching a church conference I realized that there was a little daydream of sorts floating through the background of my brain and that it was of Mike and I in Guangzhou with a little boy on Mike's shoulders.  I was surprised by that thought and I know it wasn't mine.  I am grateful for those little whisperings.

Thank you all for your support.  You are part of this amazing miracle.  These girls belonged in our family.  They feel it - we feel it.  They fit right in too - both are crazy and talkative and full of energy.  How will I ever repay you all for that?  I will be in your debt for eternity.  I kind of like that - to think of us all in the next life with eternal debts to one another.

Home for 10 days.

Andrew has been so sweet with the girls.  It is awkward for anyone to talk with someone who you don't know and who doesn't speak your language but Andrew has pushed through that.  Here he is helping the girls with a picture book of English words.

Cute, cute, and more cute.

Pearl still isn't sure what to think about her two younger brothers.  They are loud, wild, crazy, and both competing for her attention.

Whoever said that top ramen isn't real Chinese food needs to let my Chinese daughters know.  They can't get enough.  We also stocked up on Costco's pot stickers and egg rolls and they love them.

If you can't tell - we feel so blessed by how well things are going.  While we know there will be more ups and downs, we are grateful that the girls feel safe and happy in our home.  We love them more than words could ever express.

One Week Home

We have been home for a week now and things are going really well.  Both girls are more comfortable, happy, excited to go out, and starting to interact more with their brothers.  Esther is really trying to learn English - she is repeating what we are saying and she has even formed a few sentences in the last couple days.  Pearl has gotten pretty comfortable with Esther being her translator but I'm sure soon enough she'll start doing it too.

Yesterday evening everyone got out their bicycles and the girls were so impressed.  We realized that we hadn't gotten them their own bikes yet and headed out and picked a couple up.  They were so pleased with them.  Pearl is riding hers around everywhere but since we couldn't get training wheels on Esther's and we don't have a lot of open flat road we're going to have to take Esther over to the church parking lot to learn how to ride.

Today we visited Andrew's school to watch a performance he was in.  The girls loved it and clapped and cheered and took a million pictures.  Pearl waved to Andrew up on stage nearly the entire time.  I asked Esther if this school was like her school in China and she furrowed her brow, shook her head, and said no in a way that made me think she was thinking, "Are you crazy - no way!"   What a blessing it is to bring the girls to this wonderful country and teach them about liberty, opportunity, and the pursuit of happiness.

Truly, we feel so blessed.  I feel like I can actually feel my heart growing.   When you are in the adoption process your heart opens up and you feel so much love for the girls(or boys) you see in the photos but the love you need when they get home is different and takes time to blossom.  Everyone told me that it might feel awkward and strange with the kids at first - which it did - but our love for them grows.  Day by day we feel more and more like their true parents.  Just today Esther and I were having a conversation via google translate and I told her that while I could never be her biological mom that I wanted to be her real mom - forever.  She looked me in the eyes for a long time and asked, "You sure?"  My heart filled with so much love and I replied, "Absolutely."

Pearl is still trying to figure out the family dynamic and sharing her parents love and attention with others. You would think coming from an orphanage that she would understand it but she doesn't.  Orphanage life isn't like living in one big family.  Families take turns with affection and attention but they will always love you - they will always be there.   Mom and Dad can love all of their children equally - forever.  She'll pick it up.

Home for three days.

I haven't posted since we got home because I've been so tired and because most of what we're doing doesn't naturally warrant a photo be taken.  We are taking it pretty easy with movies, games, drawing, playing, loads of trampoline jumping, and sleeping.   Elijah is still down for the count and the rest of us are hoping we can steer clear of that.

OK - so we're missing a few springs!

We're still trying to figure out the girl's new diet(let alone their personalities!).  They were big eaters in China but their appetites have dwindled here.  None of us who traveled have been too hungry but still - we want to make sure they aren't hungry all the time.  Tonight we had our first Chinese cuisine with stir fry and noodles.  They were happy though of the boys only Andrew ate it.  It appears that Cheetos, Doritos, Sunny-D, and fruit snacks are universal kids foods.  We usually wouldn't eat that stuff but someone included it and it has been awesome - the kids are all happy campers with the snacks.

Several times throughout the day the girls will retreat to their room and close the door.  We thought they must need some alone time - which they do - but I think mostly it is to lock the cat in with them.  They have found a new baby in the cat.  It's pretty cute.

Esther has been loving on a hand-me-down doll from a friend.  She has reverted a little bit- which is typical among adopted children.  They will often act younger than they are as a reaction to the stress and perhaps earlier pain in their life.  She is sucking her fingers most of the day, making childish sounds, sticking her tongue out and generally acting acting more like a toddler than a 9 year old.  While I was totally aware that it might happen it is still strange to parent.  We are taking it in stride and she seems to be getting better every day.  I am sure losing some of her language with us is contributing because she cannot communicate with us in her typical fashion and so she reverts back to toddler-ease.  She is helpful and sweet and is totally willing and ready to be loved by us.  We're all just trying to find our way through this.

 Pearl is doing really well.  She is happy, funny, sleeping like a champ, and as cute as a button.  She was obviously well prepared by the ladies who loved her at the orphanage.  We are so grateful for them.

Tomorrow morning we are calling to make doctors appointments for them both.  Esther has scoliosis but it doesn't seem too extreme perhaps because of Pearl's back.  Pearl has a lot going on in her back.  Her spine splits into two and does all sorts of weird stuff we can feel back there.  When she bends over or hunches she has a large hump on her back.  She can stand up straight but there is definitely a lot going on back there and we can't wait to see what.  Otherwise they are both in good health.  Though they will both need some MAJOR dental work.  We are so glad to be home.  We are looking at different options to help them learn english and get going on some homeschooling.   It is honestly less stressful than I feared it might be - most of what we're dealing with will take care of itself naturally with the passage of time.

Home Amazingly Sweet Home.

Well folks, we got home yesterday.  Do you want to know a really funny trick to play on your brain?  Get up really early and get on a plane on one side of the earth.  Spend 17 hours flying to the other side of the earth and arrive two hours earlier on the same day than you left.  Your brain will think that's really funny.  Our flights were OK for the first 12 hours or so.  After that they were full of lots of throw-up.  Darn that motion sickness!

Our train ride to Hong Kong.

We have been so exhausted since we got home.  Yesterday every time I closed my eyes it felt like I was on a turntable or like a tumbleweed rolling along.  We took naps and went to bed early and we feel *a little* better today.  Hopefully we can get back to normal pretty soon.

I am so grateful for whoever came into our house before we got home and left bundles of food on our counters and in the fridge and then for the ladies who brought us pizza last night.  You cannot believe how much that helped.   I have so many people to thank for everything from watching our pets, taking care of my children, sending gifts, to expressing their love and prayers for us.

Getting home was fun.  The girls were super excited about their room and jumped for joy.  They loved their clothes and toys and immediately made a disaster of their room.   Only the older boys were home when we showed the girls around. The younger two were still on their way from their cousins in Idaho.  Elijah wasn't feeling well so while he chilled out Andrew showed the girls around.  He jumped with them for their first time on a trampoline, showed them our tree swing, led them all around our property and played games with them in their room.  Once the little ones were home and we were eating dinner Peter kept expressing how he wanted to hold hands with Pearl through dinner.  She wasn't ready for that yet. ;)  Later he wanted a hug SO bad and had to chase her around to get one.  Once we finally got her to relent to give him one he said it wasn't enough and wanted another.  He is totally enamored with her.

Thanks for the bubbles, Carolyn!  They totally hit the spot!

 We are all adjusting and everyone is happy.  We are SO glad to be home.  When I'm not so darn exhausted I'll take more pictures and post more about what is going on.  Hopefully that is soon!`

Monkeys Riding Bicycles.

We are starting to judge ever activity by how long it will take us to complete it.  The longer - the better.  Yesterday we were stuck on either going to the Zoo or to the Safari Park.  The Safari park is super amazing with nearly 200 white tigers, a bunch of pandas, and loads of other exotic animals and you get to drive through and see all of these amazing things.  The price reflects it at $30/person.  I know that back in the states that doesn't seem like much but we're kinda spent out - tired of buying lunch and dinner for 19 days straight as well as everything else that comes up.  The zoo on the other hand only cost the entire family $7 to get in.  So we opted for the zoo.  Our new friends the Whickers chose the safari park and saw all sorts of cool stuff.  They said there was this huge water tank where the glass is right in front of you and you can see into the water.  They dangle meat over it and the huge white tigers leap into the air to get the meat and then splash into the water and swim out.  Sounds pretty amazing.

We didn't see much of that but we still has a pretty good time.  Mike and I had to try not to get too depressed by the animal cruelty but all in all it was a pretty good day. ;)

The chimps were our favorite.  They had a group of them and they were enjoying the weather and wrestling and being as cute as all get out.

For a little over a dollar you could feed the giraffe's - we thought that was pretty cool - check out those tongues!

Cuties.  They had their first falling out today over nothing.  We were waiting for that to happen.

We decided to spring for another $7 for all of us to watch animal cruelty of the 1920's Barnum and Bailey variety. At first we could look past it but it got hard after a while.  We did see leaping tigers, dancing bears, monkeys riding bicycles, a chimp playing drums and parrots playing basketball.

Bad photo but I figured you want to see it anyhow.  These little guys were so terrified of their trainer.  If there is a way for monkeys to happily ride bicycles that would be great because it is pretty darn cute.

I wish I had snapped a photo of the chimp - when he came near us from inside the cage he went nuts like he wanted to tear our arms off.  It was funny in that kind of terrifying "we almost died" kind of way.

Things are going well - we applied for their visas at the American consulate this morning and we leave on a high speed train to Hong Kong tomorrow afternoon.  We are grateful that things are going so well here though we know there will be many things to sort out, work on, and heal from when we get home.

All our love!

Adopted by more than just us.

Chelsea at my brother's wedding in 2010.

Today is my sister Chelsea's birthday and I wanted to not only give her a shout out I wanted to talk about why she has been such an important part of this journey.  Chelsea was the first person I emailed the pictures of the girls to after I saw them - actually it was usually a joint email to both she and Mike.  Chelsea loved the girls as quickly as we did and has been our greatest supporter all the way along.  While adoption might not be part of her family's journey - she played such a vital role in making sure these little girls made it home to their family.  The adoption process can require a lot of a person - sometimes an amazing amount - and having the support of friends and loved ones is priceless.  She was there for me when I was burdened, afraid, stressed to the max, excited, overjoyed, grateful, and more.  She cried with me, rejoiced, stood up for me, and cheered us on.  I truly cannot imagine having walked that road without her.   Adoption requires the hard work and faith of more than one person -  a whole community of people come together to make the miracle of a forever family happen.  We are blessed to have such good family and friends.

Sisters like mine are a true gift.  I am so grateful that she's here and that she is such a good woman.  The girl's are getting one amazing aunt.