Getting our "girl".

Often when people hear that we are adopting Pearl they say, "Oh, going to get your girl, are you?" And honestly, I'm a little sensitive about that.  I guess I'm sensitive because I don't want people to think we chose Pearl because of that - like we went shopping for a daughter or something.  When making the decision to adopt I was open to a boy or a girl.  So, you might ask, why did we choose her?  Well, there's a story behind that...

When I got pregnant with Asher I really did hope we were finally getting a girl because I knew it might be my last pregnancy.  I was on my fifth pregnancy and it was going to be my fourth c-section.  I also knew that I'm not a very good pregnant mom - the whole family goes on hold for like a year or more when I have a baby.  So, with all that in mind, I knew this was probably it. And then when we went in for the ultrasound and saw our little Asher rolling around in my belly I was overjoyed to be having another son.

And then we made the decision to be done.  And it's a good thing because a few months ago I had an ultrasound and the wall of my uterus is only 2 mm thick!  Insane - there is no way my body could stretch that much again!  But even though we knew I was done I have honestly mourned over my ability to have more children.  I know I could love more, handle more, raise more.

Andrew being the wonderfully quirky,  sensitive,  funny,  sweet Andrew.

And then Andrew, my seven year old, started his campaign for a sister.  It has been a small, grass roots effort, but totally effective.  To really understand it's effectiveness you need to understand Andrew.  This kid has a gift for emotion.  His emotional IQ  is unbelievable sometimes.  He is able to understand, process, and perceive things that some adults can't.  And so, when he speaks about matters of the heart or spirituality in our home, we tend to listen.  Anyhow, about every other day he would say things in passing like but not limited to, "Mom, sometimes I pretend like I have a sister and it makes me so happy."  or while walking by holding a cat, "I guess you'll just have to be my sister."  or the most crushing of all and said with a sigh, "I know that I really want a sister but I guess I won't get one until heaven."  If you're wondering, I never responded to these statements - instead my heart was crushing inside of my chest.  But he did this for like TWO YEARS!  Over and over again - sometimes he wouldn't mention it for a while and I would think he was over it but then it would come back again.  So then one day I asked, "Andrew, what if someday we adopted a baby girl.  How would you feel about that?"  And he responded with a half hearted, "Oh, yeah, that would be pretty nice." which took me by surprise because of all of his pleas for a sister.  So I dug deeper, "But I thought you WANTED a sister!"  His reply, "I do but I wanted one about my age."

Hmm, I had to think that one over.  But now that I asked the question and he had spoken that statement out loud it entered his consciousness even more and so it became part of his little talk about sisters.  Now it was a sister around his age.  So, I pondered it and wondered if maybe he knew something I didn't know.  If perhaps his little sensitive soul knew that he had a sister who was missing.  Someone he loved and knew before this life who somehow hadn't shown up when she was supposed to in the family line-up.  Just typing that makes me tear up.

And so as you know we were told that it was finally time to adopt - we felt led to China and when deciding how to narrow done the field I said to my friend Jessica, "I'm looking for a little girl about 5 or 6." following Andrew's lead.  I thought it would be a good place to start and see where it would take us.  And then she emailed me back this image:

The first image we ever saw of Pearl.

Mike and I were on a trip in Utah when she emailed it to us and when both Mike and I saw it, we knew.  She just looked familiar - she fit.  She was right.  She was that little sister Andrew had been mentioning and not letting his parents forget about.  She was ours.

I don't know if Andrew and Pearl made a deal in heaven where Andrew promised that he wouldn't let us forget about her, but I kind of think they did.  I am so grateful for my sweet little boy who made sure that my sweet little girl came home to us.